So this week I have seriously struggled with my weight loss goals. I have been saying that I was going to start eating right, start working out, and all that goes along with that since the begining of the year. A month and a half later, I had yet to do it. So Monday, I decided I was just going to stop eating entirely. Which I did, for about 2 days. Then I went out, got rip roaring wasted and ended up terribly sick because there was no food in my belly. In the process, I also revealed to my boyfriend that I had stopped eating. The next day, I had to call into work, not because I was hungover but because there was so much pressure and drainage in my head that I could not focus. I went to the doctor and have an ear infection, a sinus infection, and strep. (Fricken awesome, right) So I have spent the last 2 days at home, sick, under the eye of my boyfriend. He has been making sure I eat before he goes to work. I feel like I have betrayed my body. I did so well the first 2 days and really felt like I had a good go at this. Now when I go back to work tomorrow, I am going to have to start all over again. I am so tired of being fat, that I am to the point that I am disgusted. With my body, and with myself every time I eat. I have to change this, and right now, this is the only way I know how.
When I couldn't eat because of depression and anxiety and whatever else caused me to feel sick all the time, I lost about 30 pounds in 2 months. It wasn't fun. I was always hungry, but whenever I ate, I immediately felt full and sick. Since then I'm eating again, and have gained a few pounds back. I wish they would have stayed gone. The point is... well I don't know what the point is. But I'm sure you can find a better way than just not eating. You can try a calorie counter, that's my next attempt.
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